hi everyone : ]
well, this is one of my best songs i've written 'till now. (at least some of the peple think it is
)
i don't know why i wrote it, how or for who...
so i hope you will like it,
enjoy : ]
All of us are angels
All of us are angels,
With dirty faces, broken wings,
With shattered dreams and fantasies
About a life of sin.
Sometimes you look so innocent –
You reach your arms up high
And try to touch the Heaven –
You get lost in your lie…
And then you hear them saying:
"Stop playing yourself a fool!
You're never gonna get it,
It's too good to be true…"
But you will never listen,
They won't break your spirit down,
Because you are an angel!
When time comes, you will fly…
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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okay. well first off
great song..its a song right
it was prettty short..
but sweet
my favrite line was...
its sooooo true and connects with real life!
i also liked...
but as i read the ending...
kind of disapointed me..i exspected more for an ending. but its alright.
this poem remind me of the song built for sin by framing hanley
great job and keep writing
thanks a lot to all of you ^_^

by the way, there can't be any mistakes in grammar for one good reason - my english teacher has cheked it and there were no mistakes, and she's a doctor so XD
if you have any suggestions i would like to hear them :]
again, thanks to all of you, really
Great!
"But you will never listen,
They won't break your spirit down,
Because you are an angel!
When time comes, you will fly…"
I wish it was as true as the one can believe. Really one of your best poems. The first time I read it, it felt like a cold rain cooling down my thoughts. And just cannot say all I want, can't find the suitable words =).
Aust.
this is good. optimistic-hopeful. i can appreciate courage in the face of adversity.
on the poem itself:
it's great. very few mistakes, other than some capitalization errors. but those are so minor that they can be dismissed when looking at the overall picture. if this is a song, you should write the music to it. great job. keep on writing.
wow, and I mean wow! I can totaly see why people say that this is one of your best. There are almost no mistakes, awesome work!
All of us are angels
All of us are angels,
with dirty faces, broken wings,
with shattered dreams and fantasies,
about a life of sin.
Sometimes you look so innocent –
You reach your arms up high
And try to touch the Heaven –
You get lost in your lie…
And then you hear them saying:
"Stop playing yourself a fool!
You're never gonna get it,
it's too good to be true…"
But you will never listen,
they won't break your spirit down,
because you are an angel!
When time comes, you will fly…
There were one or two grammer mistakes, but this is really, really good!
I like this!
It's very cute and gives people encouragement to reach for dreams
It's wonderful
KEEP GOIN!